The idea of the therapy process is scary. It’s scary because being fully vulnerable with someone else, but also with your true self seems terrifying. It’s the sensation of knowing your skin is breaking out or your body is not in shape the way that you’d like, yet you choose to just stare at yourself in the mirror naked and under a magnifying glass all at the same time. Yikes. It feels easier to ignore your struggles than to go through the excruciating discomfort of seeing all that without really knowing how to move forward afterwards.
When you are in the psychotherapy process, having trust with your therapist is key to allowing yourself to take those baby steps necessary to become a better version of you. You start gradually, and then you gain a feeling of security with he or she. Your therapist is someone you can be fully open to about your vulnerabilities, without the fear of judgement or condemnation. This takes time because we live in a world and society where there is a lot of judgement. We live in family systems with a lot of judgement. We learn at a young age how to judge others and how to judge ourselves, based upon the values or expectations that were set up for us to meet. These vary across individuals, but their patterns and prevalence we can find among all human systems. We are usually our harshest critics, but we learned how to do it from a structure much bigger than our own capacities. Many times, we turn to family and friends to help us through our problems, but their advice, opinions, or capacity to understand is limited by their own perspectives.
Trained psychotherapists and mental health counselors go through an enduring process of working through their own biases. They are trained to recognize what they hold judgement against, and they are expected to cultivate an awareness of how those things may show up in their sessions. If this occurs, the ethical guidelines that support the profession provide a strategy and consultation to ensure that they are not limiting the therapeutic process of their clients. This allows the trained professional to remain in line with your best interest at all times and cultivate as much safety and security in the self - exploration process, as possible.
However, sometimes your therapist is just not the right fit for you. That is also okay and normal. Feeling a good connection and trust with your therapist is the most important aspect of your journey of growth. It makes the vulnerability feel less scary. It gives you a resource and support system in finding the next step. Though your therapist is not on the journey with you, he or she can encourage, support you, and guide you along the way.