Asking for help: why we benefit from therapy.
I can do this on my own you say. I'd like to take a minute to reflect on this idea. Behind every successful person, whether it be financial success, someone that is great at their job, maybe they are an extraordinary parent, or they are an amazing athlete, none of those people got there all on their own. They were taught, coached, counseled, encouraged, or had a model throughout the path of this success. In order to benefit from any kind of support, the first step is a willingness and openness to its acceptance.
Human beings are designed as social creatures that long for human connection. Though success takes personal will power, it also takes the ability to lean on and trust others. How are we really able to access the support and experience of others, if we are not able to ask for help. It has been rewired in our psyche that asking for help or admitting we need it, is somehow shameful. If we pull back the symbolic curtain, will others see that the wizard has been hiding behind a false perception of himself the whole time? When we are infants without conscious thought, we cry to express that our basic needs are met. We enter this world fully dependent on the care of others, and we continue to need others along the way. You cannot do it all on your own, and that is okay. Take a look at your own life and ask yourself where you could benefit from some kind of support. Is it in your career, your relationships, your family, your ability to cope or manage stress, or your view of yourself?
The role of a therapist is to help you identify your resources both internally and externally. Maybe there is a solution you've never considered. Maybe you've been unconsciously contributing to your problem the whole time. Maybe everyone else around you sees it besides you. At a certain point, our patterns of thinking or behavior are not only not serving us but are also hindering our success. We can't do things we don't know how to do or change things we don't know how to change. Asking for help is not only brave, but it is proactively taking ownership over your own life. It is no longer talk but it becomes action. I challenge you to ask for help where you need it.